There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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