dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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