Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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