I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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