): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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