Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
