Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
