there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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