i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
