sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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