your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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