Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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