forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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