True but thats because hes a fetus.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
