we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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