office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
