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• (443): View more from Maryland

  so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse

  (914): View more from New York

  so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (916): View more from California

  I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

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• (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?

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