Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.

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  (412): I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God. http://tfl.nu/yxgi
  Replies (34) Good night (1224) Bad night (2699)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.

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  (651): the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction. http://tfl.nu/x0dk
  Replies (35) Good night (3312) Bad night (1660)
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  (310): View more from California

  she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.

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  (310): she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category. http://tfl.nu/bs6u
  Replies (55) Good night (936) Bad night (11618)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th

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  (952): Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th http://tfl.nu/jcqw
  Replies (5) Good night (2789) Bad night (1109)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.

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  (773): We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed. http://tfl.nu/o1n2
  Replies (3) Good night (1815) Bad night (623)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (638)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1656) Bad night (633)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great

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  (978): It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great http://tfl.nu/o9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (2429) Bad night (692)
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  (858): View more from California

  I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?

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  (858): I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again? http://tfl.nu/4q23
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (649)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The pigeons can smell the fear

  (1+44): View more from

  Wtf

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  (+44): The pigeons can smell the fear (1+44): Wtf http://tfl.nu/89q6
  Replies (4) Good night (1579) Bad night (691)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep

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  (503): There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep http://tfl.nu/pt1q
  Replies (6) Good night (600) Bad night (731)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.

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  (780): I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/qn6g
  Replies (27) Good night (606) Bad night (3613)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?

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  (309): I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? http://tfl.nu/0fxz
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (1010)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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  (931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh
  Replies (2) Good night (681) Bad night (450)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?

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  (715): So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities? http://tfl.nu/h2if
  Replies (3) Good night (1051) Bad night (278)

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