I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina