Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.