Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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(415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr

Replies (32) Good night (1066) Bad night (4184)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.

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(405): Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime. http://tfl.nu/065d

Replies (17) Good night (2936) Bad night (970)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces

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(240): Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces http://tfl.nu/jwb7

Replies (2) Good night (2109) Bad night (1392)
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(516): View more from New York

WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE

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(516): WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE http://tfl.nu/y0z3

Replies (10) Good night (1434) Bad night (3440)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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(715): There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. http://tfl.nu/w1ne

Replies (8) Good night (3382) Bad night (646)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde

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(401): Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde http://tfl.nu/uiul

Replies (6) Good night (1377) Bad night (560)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.

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(307): We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger. http://tfl.nu/ajz2

Replies (6) Good night (1510) Bad night (475)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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(414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo

Replies (0) Good night (1244) Bad night (476)
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(561): View more from Florida

Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.

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(561): Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch. http://tfl.nu/p878

Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (671)
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(912): View more from Georgia

He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.

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(912): He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist. http://tfl.nu/1sb8

Replies (7) Good night (2293) Bad night (677)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?

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(616): Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything? http://tfl.nu/t3z5

Replies (24) Good night (2704) Bad night (854)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?

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(859): Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less? http://tfl.nu/3zmk

Replies (5) Good night (1262) Bad night (386)
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(469): View more from Texas

The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"

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(469): The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party" http://tfl.nu/vn3r

Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (270)
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(360): View more from Washington

Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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(360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo

Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (300)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway

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(401): I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway http://tfl.nu/g36h

Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (266)

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