so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
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Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?