Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
