DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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