wanna go halves on a baby?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize