Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
