k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Two words: blizzard sex
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
