Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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