Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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