i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
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I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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