i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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