just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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