glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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