why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
