how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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