I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
