Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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