I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need water and some morals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
