i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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