There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
