mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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