you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
