Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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