Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
