You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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