I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
