I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
