last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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