you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
