Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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