I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
