The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I need moral support for this bender
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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