i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
