are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
