if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
