Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize