I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i think my mom watched the whole time
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
