How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
