i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
