Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
