in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
