butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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